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Am I protecting the kids or hurting them?
By: hockeymom17
Age: 39, 
Sault Ste. Marie
1/4/2009 5:38:31 PM

I have recently decided that I'm going to leave my husband in the next month or so, whenever I can afford it.  I have 2 boys and I'm scared to death about how this is going to affect them.  This isnt the first time I've left my husband.  We were separated before and I had a place of my own at the time.  My husband is very controlling, obsessive, etc and the last time I left, he really fell off the rocker to say the least!  He made our oldest son promise to never like any man that I dated, he forced the security code for my apartment building out of our oldest son, told both of my boys horrible, untrue things about me, etc, etc.  The violent side also comes out of him.  He smashed the windshield out of my truck when I was sitting in it, my tires were mysteriously slashed a few days later, again....etc, etc. 

I want to get a PPO against him when I leave this time because it is for good!  The bad thing is that he can't even contact me by phone at all, so how am I supposed to communicate with him about the kids?  On the other hand, if I dont do it, how am I supposed to keep myself and my kids safe? 

Reply Posted By: Rhonda Bennett, M.A. - Female, NolensvilleTennessee

Date Posted:
1/5/2009 4:59:52 AM

Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

You need to contact an attorney asap.  This man is a danger to yourself and your children.  You need to find a safe place to live and get that protective order as soon as possible.  Domestic violence situations like yours can escalate to the point where serious injury or death can occur - it happens every day.  You are right to want to provide a safe, happy, loving home for your children.  They will need counseling to understand that although their father may "love" them, his violent, controlling, obsessive behavior is NOT ok.  Boys who grow up with violent, controlling fathers usually grow up just like them.  NOW is the time to stop this cycle.  You could also benefit from counseling to help restore your self-esteem and help you set some goals for the future.  I wish you the best.  Rhonda Bennett, M.A.



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