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When is it time to call it quits
By: moodown567
Age: 57, 
10/16/2013 4:49:47 PM

My wife started cheating on me about 3 years ago and as far as i know she has not slept with him since last summer. But she still has contact even though I have told her it is a deal breaker as far as us to stay together. Last week she wanted to live in our house and just do (as she said) what she wanted to do. so I asked her if that envolved dating him and she said yes. I said leave and after a lot of texting I let here come home with stipulations. That any contact she would save and show me. he contacted her Saturday and she didn't tell me until tuesday night and deleated all conversation. at this point I want to throw her out but I still love her. somebody please help me

Reply Posted By: Rhonda Bennett, M.A. - Female, NolensvilleTennessee

Date Posted:
10/16/2013 5:05:56 PM

Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

Thanks for your post. Real love involves friendship, passion, chemistry and 100% trust. Your wife left your marriage emotionally and physically long ago. Her reasons for keeping one foot in are weak.  You deserve someone who really loves you and wants to share their life with you.  If you would like to discuss how to move forward with your life, you can contact me for live, online counseling at

This site is completely confidential and anonymous.

Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

Reply Posted By: Jeffrey Brandler, EdS CAS LMFT - Male, Mountain LakesNew Jersey

Date Posted:
10/17/2013 4:34:19 AM

Jeffrey Brandler, EdS CAS LMFT

Good job taking the step to go public and ask for help.  Asking for help is a great step towards change.

The question that you raise is interesting on many levels.  Most interesting is the question when is enough enough?  My immediate response is what are the positives in this relationship that keep you coming back for more?  Additionally what is the "magnet" that keeps you stuck to your wife?  To answer these questions and to deal with the more complex actions, you will want to find yourself a good therapist that can help you.  Keep your change momentum going by seeking the therapist now.  Good luck to you!



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