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Forum Category: Help Me Rhonda!
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Religion is coming between us
By: Bremerton2
Male, 
Age: 46, 
Bremerton
Washington
8/21/2009 10:39:13 AM

Hi Rhonda...wondering if you can offer some help...my wife and I have been married 5 years now. We have one daughter. About 2 years ago my wife started going to church, and has since turned into a full-blown born again Christian. She's really changed alot. She doesn't like to have fun any more, and only wants us to hang out with people from her church. It's really putting alot of stress on our marriage.  The next thing I see coming is when our daughter turns 5 my wife is talking about enrolling her into a Christian school. I feel I am losing her to this religion and I certainly don't want my daughter to be indoctrinated into it. To me it seems more like a cult or lifestyle than it is something positive. I also find the people involved in it to be very judgemental of others and thinking they have some superior knowledge than others, especially those that practice a different religion. If this continues I'm not sure our marriage will survive. Appreciate any suggestions you may have.

Reply Posted By: Rhonda Bennett, M.A. - Female, NolensvilleTennessee

Date Posted:
8/21/2009 12:05:11 PM


Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

That''s a rough one.  Many people feel that having faith in their life helps them make the right decisions and stay away from people and activitiies that are not healthy.  You mentioned a Christian school, so I will assume that your wife is involved with a Christian church.  Christianity teaches people to love each other and to NOT be judgmental.  However, many people, especially those new to the church, will swing too far one way and become judgmental, "holier than thou" and try to indoctrinate everybody around them with their new faith.  This is not the way that Christian faith and practices are suppose to be.

You and your wife need to communicate about the direction of your marriage.  Some people use their faith to withdraw from the world.  Christians are supposed to be out among everybody; the way Jesus was - inspiring people with their good behavior, good works and by setting an example.  Going to a Christian school can help your daughter learn to make the right decisions and live a faith-based life.  

That said, this is one of the life changes that happens in a marriage that can end up being a deal breaker.  If you are not interested in becoming a Christian or following that path, then you and your wife need to figure out how to navigate the step chapter of your marriage.  Couples counseling could help you decide how to proceed.  I wish you the best. 

 

 
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