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Forum Category: Help Me Rhonda!
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  Topic Originator Date Posted  
My dirty little secret
By: Shindig
Age: 38, 
8/12/2009 10:36:15 AM


You are the first person I have told this to. Unbeknownst to my husband I have amassed over $17,000 of debt on credit cards that he doesn't even know I have. The scary thing is he wants to buy a new car, and if he does so, they will run our joint credit report and it will show up. I feel so stupid about this...I thought I could get them paid off before he would ever know, but that is not realistic.  The truth is I am a shopaholic. I need to come clean with him, but I know he is going to go ballistic. I love him very much, but am afraid this is going to really destroy our relationship.  Do you have any suggestions for how to approach him on this?

Reply Posted By: Rhonda Bennett, M.A. - Female, NolensvilleTennessee

Date Posted:
8/13/2009 12:17:59 PM

Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

Shindig, you are going to have to come clean to your husband so you can start to get in control of your shopping addiction and your credit.  Many people have found themselves in the same situation that you are in, but it doesn''t have to ruin your marriage.

You didn''t say what you''ve been spending your money on, but your husband must wonder how you''ve afforded your purchases.  Secrets are rarely secrets for long in a marriage.

You first need to tell your husband what has happened.  He will probably be angry, but if he loves you he will find a way to help you get the problem under control.  The next step is to find a non-profit credit counseling agency who can help you possibly consolidate your credit card debt and get it paid off sooner.

I also advise you to find a therapist who can help you get in control of your shopping addiction.  Any addiction is hard to break, and getting professional help will help you understand why you feel the need to spend money you don''t have and help you get the tools you need to change that behavior.

I wish you the best!




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