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Forum Category: Help Me Rhonda!
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My ex is getting remarried & I'm depressed
By: Katie3
Female, 
Age: 47, 
Chino Hills
California
7/24/2009 10:33:24 AM

Rhonda:

My ex and I were married for 8 years and have now been divorced for 1 year.  I just found out yesterday that he is getting remarried next month. Eventhough I'm not in love with him any more, I'm really surprised how hearing this is affecting me. I feel really sad and depressed. I don't know if it's because I don't currently have someone in my life, or if it's just the final realization that what we once had is finally over. I've been crying off and on since I heard the news. Why am I feeling this way? Is this a normal reaction?

Reply Posted By: Rhonda Bennett, M.A. - Female, NolensvilleTennessee

Date Posted:
7/25/2009 12:16:42 PM


Rhonda Bennett, M.A.

Your reaction is very normal.  There''s a grieving process that happens when a marriage ends - no matter how unhealthy it may have been.  But relationships end for a reason and when one chapter ends in our life, we have to move on to the next one.

Remember what you learned from being married to someone who didn''t meet your needs.  We learn from a failed relationship more about what we need, want and deserve in a partner.  Realizing your husband is moving on and it''s really over can feel like a kick in the stomach. 

Focus on the good things in your life; family, friends, your career, etc.  Be pro-active in moving through this.  Make sure you''re getting plenty of exercise, eating healthy, sleeping enough and not doing anything self-destructive.  One way to be positive and feel good about life is to volunteer helping others; do something where you are giving back and getting outside yourself  for a while.

The bad feeling will pass.  I wish you the best!

 

 
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